an apology calls forth a desire to never have a reason to say sorry again
To My Best Friend
Thank you. Thank you for the love you’ve shown me. Thank you for being a part of my life. Thank you for letting this messed up and emotionally unstable person into your life. You have called me best friend but I know you deserve better. It’s hard not feeling like a place holder. A temporary fill for something better. For a best friend that will make you smile more than I did. A best friend that makes waking up something to look forward to. A best friend worth living for and dying for. Whether or not that is true I want to say that I love you with everything in me. It kills me knowing that I’ve hurt you. It’s not the first time and I wish it were the last time. I don’t really know what to do anymore. I have people around me that make me smile and make me happy. However, my happiness has become something I resent. Every time I smile, I can’t get rid of the thought of you crying. You deserve to be happy and you deserve the best. I wish I could bear your pain for you but all i can do is say sorry. Not even my tears could make up for yours. I promised myself that I wouldn’t become what I am. Now, I’m making a new promise to myself. I promise to be to you and to other what you’ve been to me. I’m not sure if you’re ever going to read this but if you do just know that you’re truly my other half. I love you.